-Man Wey Dey Reason

Story: Man Wey Dey Reason… Part 9

A story written by Flow1759… If you missed part Eight, read it HERE

After i had smoked three Jumbo wraps, i walked home with my guys. Sorry, I didn’t walk but flew home, because i was on top of the world, flying on eagles wings.

As i continued walking, i heard a voice spoke to me, I turned, and it wasn’t any of my guys that spoke. Yet another voice spoke.

The two voices now spoke together clearly for me to hear. The following conversation ensued between myself and the two voices:

“na me be Tramadol” the first voice said, “my name na Igboh” the second voice said. “my own name na Flow” i responded to the two voices without my mouth moving.

Tramadol: Remove ur shirt.
Flow: why i go remove my shirt?
Igboh: because u be big boy.
Flow: i be big boy na, and i go remove am to show u say i be big boy.

So i removed my shirt and singlet. I turned and saw that Man, Snoop, Tupac, and Bigie were carried away by the football argument they were involved in. So they weren’t disturbing the conversation with my newly found invisible friends.

Tramadol: pull ur trouser
Flow: why i go pull my trouser?
Igboh: because u be president of Nigeria.
Flow: i no go pull am abeg, i no wear boxers inside, u want make people dey see my p’rick?
Tramadol: ok go control that traffic for there.

I glanced at the road and saw that there was no traffic jam, but all the cars were moving on high speed.

Flow: but hold-up no dey na.
Igboh: Just go control am like dat, dem go dash u money.
Flow: ok i go go.

I sheepishly walked to the direction of the road to go control the traffic. I saw from the corner of my eyes that my guys were still arguing football so they never saw me leaving.

“hey you!! Stop there!! Hey you! move!!” i commanded as i stood in the middle of the road. The car i commanded to stop didn’t stop but tried to catch break, so it made a loud screech as it headed to my direction. I tot it had failed break.

For few seconds i found myself in the spirit world sipping hennesey with Tupac shakur. “i don die be dat oh” i tot.

What confirmed i wasn’t dead was when Man shouted, “Flow that motor for kill u oh!!”.

“Baba Jay who buy dis Bread and Akara wey una dey chop?” Snoop asked as we got home. “na Brainbox oh” Baba jay responded. Man looked at the direction of Brainbox and said, “Brainbox why u wear my trouser na?”. “No vex i go soon pull am” Brainbox responded.
Brainbox loved spoiling other peoples things and saving his own, i hated him for that because he had spoilt so many of my things when we were at Umunkoto.

“MOG is Pkc not coming back tonight?” Snoop asked. “Yes oh, he will be sleeping in the church because he will be leading the early morning prayers tommorow” MOG responded.

The first night i slept in the church, i concluded that the mosquitoes there were “Holy mosquitoes”. If you are an unbeliever and you sleep in the church for a night, the next morning you would surely give your life to Christ.

The mosquitoes can sting the living daylight off you. The first night i slept there with Pkc and my cousin Tochiba, i cried althrough the night. They gave me a “per seconds billing” stinging, and the next morning my skin was swollen. But i wondered why Pkc still loved sleeping there, or were the mosquitoes tired of his blood?.

“something is smelling like indian h’emp here, do any of you smoke?” MOG inquired. “No oh, na that Flow perfume wey all of us spray oh, the perfume dey smell like Igboh” Man told a fat lie. One thing i loved Man for was that you can’t just throw him off guard, he had a response to every question from his arsenal of lies. He should have been called “LIEnus” instead of “Man”. “no, i am sure somebody smoked amongst you guys, i sense the smell once someone that just smoked comes around me” MOG said. “but how do you know?” Brainbox asked.

“dis Brainbox no get sense oh, see the kin question wey him dey ask, if MOG com say him wan smell our mouth nkor? Brainbox na because u no dey smoke nahim make u wan cast us abi?” I tot.

“how wont i know, don’t u know before i gave my life to Christ, i was the number one Man of in Poly Nekede where i schooled, i smoked more than chimney, i was a chain smoker, so if i come across a weed smooker i could tell by just smelling the person’s cloth” MOG narrated. One hearing that, i saw Snoop moved his body a bit in other for MOG’s weed sensitive nose not to percieve the smell of weed emanating from his cloth, Man also did the same. But i did not move my body because i wasn’t putting on my cloth, “abi him dey smell person skin sef?” i asked myself.

“that person that smokes, pls change ur ways oh, Jesus Loves u, i pray God arrest you soon, In Jesus name” MOG prayed. “AMEN!!!” we all chorused.

To Be Continued…

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