-The Missing Rib

Must Read: The Missing Rib… Part 9

If You Missed The Part 8, Read It Here

Option taken – three. Yes, against all my Lagos sharp sense, I decided to take a risk on Yomi and tell him the truth, and scenario three played out. Lesson learnt – if you want it long term with someone, come out clean, no hidden anything. He looked me in the eye after I had told him and said “Oyin, if you had lied, I would have known and I would have ended it here and now.” And I knew he meant it.
Sunday was my day with my girls (proudly so). I could regale you with all the tales of our day at the beach, but the only part you are gonna read is the fact that the oooohs and aaaahs that I got as I told them about Yomi and I could fill a book. Toke knew of Yomi (who Toke no sabi), and she told me I had hit it big if I hooked him. Glo was also very happy for me and I felt refreshed and ready for the week. Okay, lemme give you guys a bit of juicy gist from Gloria. Remember Alvin who was supposed to send the iPad that I was supposed to win in the episode about Mr. X (RME) with the H factor? Well, Gloria thought they were headed somewhere. He’s based in Jand and used to call her a lot initially. Recently, he has reduced his calling and he’s been complaining about all sorts and giving excuses for not calling. She called him while I was away in Dubai, and the conversation went something like this
Gloria: Hello darling
Female Voice: May I know who is speaking? (English accent)
Gloria: That’s my line. Why are you answering my boyfriend’s phone
Female Voice: Because I’m his wife and the mother of his two kids?
Gloria: (Quiet)
Female Voice: Alvin… come and get the phone
Alvin: Who is this?
Gloria: Who was that?
Alvin: My wife.
Gloria: Alvin, you are married…
Alvin: I can explain. It’s for my papers. It’s one oyinbo woman.
Gloria slammed the phone
All these foolish men that will come here and be deceiving us. That’s why me I don’t do distance. Too much room for lies and deceit abeg. The talk is in the eyes,oju loro wa.
Monday and I got to work and raced to my desk. I avoided going anywhere I thought I would meet Ossy. That’s the issue with office anything. I had not even dated and broken up with him and it was this awkward. I couldn’t imagine how it would be if we had actually dated. Gladly, I knew it was a bad idea and didn’t date him.
Apart from that, the day was a blast. Everyone commented on how well I looked and how good the rest must have been. I chose not to call Yomi to see if our first work day apart would be a no talk during the day kinda work day. My booboo sugarbunny snucklesnuggle (did u roll your eyes?) called me thrice during the day and we talked (I used my handsfree o, all you LASTMA people reading this) all through my drive home.
And so my week went something like this – great days at work, two dinners with boo, and #‎my‬ lips are sealed about these parts#. Suffice to say that I had ice cream eaten off me and so on and so forth.
On Saturday morning, I decided to check on Gloria and squeeze breakfast out of her lazy ass. I thought I was through with shockers in this my life, but I got a huge one as I rounded the bend into her street. There was my yellow pawpaw friend, leaning over a car I was very familiar with and kissing the occupant squarely on the lips. The car drove past mine as I tried to park properly, and it was gone before I got out of my car.
“Gloria, what was that you were doing with Ossy?”
Gloria gave me a look that said en en and then fired “Question! What did it seem like I was doing?”
“But Glo, it’s Ossy now. You cannot be seriously seeing him now. It’s just wrong on different levels.”
“Why? Tell me one reason why? It’s not like you are dating him or like you ever did. Now that you’ve found you a good man, na only you wan marry? Me I didn’t see anything bad in Ossy, and so I called him up. We hooked up, and he shared his own heartbreak and I shared mine. And one thing led to another. What exactly is wrong about dating a very single man who seems ready to settle down and is seriously talking marriage at my 36years old?”
“Glo, seriously talking marriage after how long now? He was seriously thinking marriage with me just a few weeks ago. It smells fishy o”
“So it smells fishy because it’s not you abi? Please spare me abeg”.
I just stood speechless because I knew she was in the right with everything she was saying, but a certain but kept playing at the back of my mind. It just didn’t sit right. In that split second, I had to caution myself. Was I expecting Ossy to keep waiting for me ni? And shouldn’t I have been happy for him when I expected him to be happy for me when he met Yomi? And it wasn’t really worth quarreling with Gloria over. Really not.
“Oya sorry dear, na just shock catch me”, I said, smiling at Gloria. I could see she was visibly relieved that I wasn’t going to make issues out of this situation.
“Since man sleep for your house, I hope you sha cooked for him because me na food I come chop for your house.”
“Yes now, I had to show him I’m wife material now”
“En, and I know it’s not just in the cooking you showed him, oya gist me every every abeg.”
She threw her head back and laughed. It was good to see my friend laugh. “You know that thing Toke said about Bini men…”
I winked and laughed too “Dem no dey carry last at all at all”
She winked too and led me into the house for the “fullness of the gist therein”, lol.
A month later, Gloria and Ossy were married and I was the chief bride’s maid.
In my heart, as I stood behind her and my friends said I do to each other, I looked back at my own man in the aisle. It was going so well with Yomi, I couldn’t help but be happy for Glo and Ossy. Somewhere in my heart, a small voice told me this would be my last bride’s maid assignment. I said a silent amen.
And as if in answer to my prayer, at the wedding reception, rather than throw her bouquet, Glo walked up to me and handed it over to me. I was still trying to understand what all that was about when Yomi walked up to me, dropped on one knee and proposed. I nearly fainted in delight. No words came to my mouth. I could only nod my answer, so vigorously my head almost dropped off.
I thought my search was over at long last.
I couldn’t be more wrong.


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