-My Experience With Naija Police

Must Read: My Experience With Naija Police… Part 3

If You Missed The Part 2, Read It Here

Coming down from a police van felt embarrassing and humiliating, I was sure that the passerby that saw me come down would have started thinking crazy thoughts, some might assume I belonged to a clique of thieving boys and was apprehended, or that I was caught in the act of duping white people, an act we call yahoo yahoo, well everyone was entitled to their own silly thoughts. I briskly walked towards the gate to the compound, to avoid more eyes, the policemen followed, all four of them, like an entourage they followed and walked at my pace. The hostel was quite empty, except for the voices I was hearing from the room close to mine I could have sworn there was no one in the hostel. I walked towards my room, “this is my room” I pointed and they all followed me, they were all about entering when the officer with the stained teeth looked into the room before mine and saw my neighbours (about four boys) in the room gisting and alerted the rest of them, unfortunately for my neighbours their door was wide open, their protector was unlocked and that gave the policemen access into their room. The crooked nose officer, the older officer and the stained teeth officer all marched into my neighbours flat leaving just the cross-eye officer with me, the idiot. I opened the door to the flat giving the officer access into the apartment, the idiot didn’t even pull off his worn out boots. In my head I was already counting how many offense these men had committed already, one, the had infringed my right of movement and freedom, two, they were searching my house without a warrant, this was enough to sue them and make them pay for damages, but it is Nigeria, who cares about rights and laws. I wondered what this officer was searching for as he was ransacking my apartment checking every unnecessary place. He moved from the parlour to the rooms, turning the beds and looking into the wardrobes, I just stood there watching him like a parent would when they catch a child red handed in the act of stealing. He searched and searched and even raised up the rug, opened the fridge and searched the bathroom, crazy guy. My phones were on the tv stand, the blackberry and the nokia asha 501, fortunately for me the BB was switched off, he picked up the Nokia and was going through my messages, invading my privacy but I couldn’t say anything, I had no right to. After reading all my messages he finally gave up, I was clean and he was angry that I was clean. Unfortunately for my neighbours it wasn’t going so well, there was a heated argument going on between one of the police officers and Biggs, one of my neighbours, “how can you just barge into my room and start searching my room, you can’t do it,
I know my right” biggs shouted, I wondered if he knew that as far as these policemen were concerned he had no rights, “you get something wey u dey hide na why u no want make we enter search abi, God don catch you today” the cross-eye officer retorted, this guy had temper issues. They searched their apartment, bringing out the laptops, phones and even sensation’s coursemates assignments, sensation is the class rep of his level. They fumbled with the phones, obviously the phones were too sophisticated for them, unfortunately it was a good thing for them as the older police officer said they’d have to go to the station and have the phones and laptops searched, they were upto something. The police officers were about gathering the seized items when Biggs started again, “This is lawfully wrong, you don’t have any right to come into my house in the first place, talk more of seizing these items, so now its a crime to own phones and laptops, you don’t even have a search warrant sef” he ranted on and wouldn’t stop, even when Sensation and his friend KFC signalled him to quiet down, he was about collecting the items back when he received a blinding slap from the cross-eye officer, “you dey mad, you feel say I nor go school, or who be your mate, you think say we go just come here con dey waste time” the cross-eye officer was quite vociferous, the slap subdued Biggs, it was like his brain resetted and his humility set in because he didn’t make anymore sound after the slap had been dealt him. The crooked nose officer brought out two folded pieces of paper and straightened them out, one he claimed was a search warrant and the other he used in writing a statement, after he was done, they bundled up the “supposed” evidence and handcuffed Sensation, Biggs and KFC, they were being apprehended for being normal citizens, the police is your friend indeed.
All three of them were handcuffed and led by the older police office while the rest of the officers gathered the “evidence”. I was totally indifferent to the whole scenario, this guys were innocent yet they were being led by the policemen like convicts, saying Nigeria is lawless state would be so trite, at least in the American movies I have seen, a citizen could only be arrested for committing a real offense, and he is entitled to a lawyer and gentle treatment too! It was all surreal yet I was indifferent, I wasn’t sure if I should feel bad that I brought this misfortune upon my neighbours or if I should feel good that I wasn’t the one in cuffs. I just stood there looking on as the “convicts” were marched off, that was my mistake, they had barely gotten to the van when the crooked nose officer turned with such alacrity like he had forgotten something, he turned his gaze at me, surprised and confused as to why he was looking at me I immediately turned and was about walking into my flat when he called, “assssss, oya con here” he bellowed, I unhesitantly answered, turning towards his direction like I was remote-controlled, he was whispering something to the older police officer as I walked towards him, “oya enter motor, you dey go station too, con go write statement” his acerbic tone, what predicament have I gotten myself to, I could have just remained in my flat till they left, today was a bad day.


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