-Man Wey Dey Reason

Must Read: Man Wey Dey Reason… Part 64

A story written by Flow1759… If you missed part 63, read it HERE!!!

“Brainbox wetin dey that nylon bag?” I asked Brainbox as he came out of the toilet. “na money” He replied as he untied the nylon bag.

“na money wey i don dey save since we start this necklace business” Brainbox said. “na for inside toilet you dey save the money?” Man asked. “yes na” Brainbox answered.

I asked myself where in the toilet his bank might be that nobody ever saw the huge amount of money. So i asked, “where for toilet wey you put the money?”. “na inside that place wey water wey dem dey use flush dey store” He meant the closet where water for flushing is stored.

“as una don know where i dey save money now, i go change to another place” Brainbox added. “na because of Bigie nahim make me hide the money there, i no say nobody for this house be thief” Brainbox said with a smile.

True talk, nobody in the compound steals other than the Notorious BIG and the Brainy Brainbox.

“so Baba jay how much be the total money wey i go contribute for the business?” Brainbox asked. “seven of us go contribute the same amount, so na 33,000naira you go contribute” said Baba jay.

To the surprise of everyone, Brainbox counted 33k out of the toilet money and handed it over to Baba jay. He put the rest into his pocket. The applaud that followed was deafening.

“so one person has paid his complete money, the rest of us has 7days to raise ours” Pkc stated.

“Up NEPA!!” Power was restored. “yeeeeh! Flow which kin rubbish haircut them barb you” Snoop said. Due to how events were unfolding so fast, and due to the fact that it was dark, I had totally forgotten i was still on the rat chop haircut.

“omoh, as Ade dey barb me, naso Police come arrest am say him follow people wey come kill Chief that day” I informed.

“so Ade na MOPO? Nawa oh! Who go send them to kill Chief sef?” Snoop asked the air.
“good! The spirit of Chief is arresting them one by one” said Pkc.

“if we open this barbing salon wey we wan open, who go dey barb people sef?” Brainbox asked as we both walked to Paco’s barber’s shop to finish what Ade started. “i no know oh, wetin i know be say e no fit be Me, or You, or Man, because we go soon go back to our Kponkpon job” I replied.

“Omoh see as customers full Paco salon, that guy dey use Jaz oh” I informed everyone as we got home. “we go fit make am so? Unless we go use Jaz like am oh” Brainbox said. “we are not using any Jaz, God is our Jaz” Pkc said.

“Jaz” here is not reffering to the music genre that originated from the Western world. It means Juju. And “Juju” is also not reffering to the music genre “Afro Juju” that is popular in South western Nigeria. Jaz from the context means using Voodoo to gain customers.

Sleep came. And i fell asleep. I slept on the floor because it was my turn to do so.

I dreamt i married the crowned Most beautiful girl in Nigeria, but as i was about to “enter the place”, someone woke me.

“aaaaah! Tega e no go better for you, na now wey i wan arrange my fine Miss Nigeria wife for my dream, nahim you wake me, you be enemy of progress oh” I cursed.

“guy you don get Malaria be that oh, na person wey get Malaria nahim dey dream dat kin dream, stand up make we pray jor” Tega said, and the whole house laughed at me.

We prayed for about 2hours. Guess what our prayers were centered on? Our proposed business.

To every “Amen” we said, Baba jay responded with a hot fart. I just couldn’t tell if that was his way of saying Amen. Or if his mouth was his a”ss and vice versa.

What i could tell was that the stench the fart produced caused a royal rumble in my stomach.

As we sat under the mango tree, “nna mehn! Baba jay we dey pray you dey mess, u no dey respect God oh” Man suddenly said. “i think say na only me hear the mess wey him scatter oh” I said. “guy, Baba jay finish me with mess no be small, u know say na me sidon near am, him mess make my eye red like person wey smoke Igboh” Brainbox said. “the mess even make Pkc forget prayer point wey him wan talk” I said that because Pkc wasn’t close by.

“all of una for come sellotape my nyash make i no mess na” Baba jay said.

“even if we sellotape your nyash, your mess go tear the sellotape” Snoop said and we laughed beyond control.

From talking about Baba jay’s messopotania, we started arguing about how expensive Chief Levinus’s car that was parked outside could be.

What we never knew was that, the windscreen of the car would be smashed in a matter of minutes, not only that, we never knew we would all watch a live b’lue film in a matter of minutes also.

To Be Continued…

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