Categories
-Man Wey Dey Reason

Must Read: Man Wey Dey Reason… Part 60

A story written by Flow1759… If you missed part Fifty Nine, read it HERE!!!

]”Tega you don come back from station?” Man asked as we got home. What i couldn’t tell was if Man actually asked that question or his younger brother Igboh.

Bcos Man had told us while we were smoking that Igboh was his best friend and brother.

“u see me for here, u dey ask me weda i don come, no i never come, na my spirit nahim dey ur front so” Tega said what i wanted saying.

That morning was special. Why it was special was bcos we ate fried rice and Chicken, sponsored and prepared by Pkc.

As Pkc dished the food, my prayer was for either Pkc or Baba Jay not to be paired with me.

I went to the toilet to pee, and when i returned, i found out that everyone was eating with their partners. They were eating in twos. “where my own na” I asked, “come and join us, our plate of rice is meant for three persons” Pkc said beckoning that i come join them.

Guess who his partner was?

Baba jay. The ravenous and gluttonous Baba jay.

Baba jay, Pkc a.k.a let the mountain go down, and Flow.

At that moment, my prayer was for God to give me the speed go beyond five spoons.

“i no dey like dis kin thing oh” I murmured. The other guys laughed at my predicament.

The plate of rice had already gone half way when i took my first spoon.

I thought of the best way to make the ravenous beasts i was eating with slow down, but i couldn’t just figure how best to do so.

I even thought of preaching to Pkc. But i thought otherwise, bcos, where would I begin? Genesis or Revelation?

Baba jay wasn’t even chewing the rice, he just swallowed it. My situation could be likened to a rat eating with two Elephants. And to make matters worse, i was famished courtesy of brother Igboh.

“Baba jay take am easy na” I said. That fell on deaf ears, he even increased his pace.

I felt like crying.

“na today wey we dey chop rice and Chicken nahim una wan do me like dis, e no go work for una” I encouraged myself.

“Pkc e no good oh, see as una dey rush” I complained. Pkc replied me with a smile but still continue eating hastily.

Round one was over, Pkc went into the kitchen to dish the second plates. And i tried to figure how i would outsmart the two Elephants i was eating with.

An idea dropped. An outlandish idea.

When I was much younger, say about 15, when eating rice or any other food from the same plate with my seniors, I would put on a round neck T-shirt.

The T-shirt must never be white, and i always wore a singlet inside. The singlet too must never be white. Black was perfect. Infact i had a special black singlet and a black T-shirt for this mischief.

The mischief was to notice when the person I was eating with looks away. When the person looks away, I quickly drag one of the pieces of meat, open the neck of the T-shirt I wore, and throw the meat inside. It would hurt, but like they say: “no pain, no gain”. And when the person asked where the other meat was, I would deny ever taking the meat, afterall he/she never saw me munched any meat. I would also blame it on the person that dished the food for not dishing the complete pieces of meat. (i don dey teach una bad thing abi?).

I must warn, never you try this with Ogbono soup.

The day i tried it with Ogbono soup, i met my waterloo.

Saying the meat i stole from the hot Ogbono soup peeled off my skin is an understatement, my intestine almost came out through the opening the meat created in my stomach. I was caught when i screemed as a result of the unbearable pain.

“wetin make you dey wear my sweater na?” Tega queried as he saw me putting on his black sweater.

“i wan comot, if we chop finish i go comot” I replied.

“but heat dey na, why you go wear black sweater for this hot weather?” Brainbox said.

“guy e be like say i no well oh, cold dey catch me when heat dey catch una” I replied.

They never knew i was up to mischief.

Mischief to outsmart the two ravenous devils i was eating with.

To Be Continued….

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published.