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-Man Wey Dey Reason

Must Read: Man Wey Dey Reason… Part 58

A story written by Flow1759… If you missed part Fifty Seven, read it HERE!!!

First half over, and i changed my pooing position. This time the poo that came out of my a”sshole was like Egusi soup.

“e no go better for Mama Calabar” Brainbox cursed.

The place we were pooing was everything but someone’s farm, it looked bushy. Or so i tot.

An hour, and we were still there pooing. Not only that, the sound our a”ssholes made could be likened to that of a Ballistic missile.

Legend has it that one’s poo starts smelling nice when he/she spends as long as an hour pooing.

My mouth was wide open as i tried forcing the stubborn poo out of my bowel. I discovered that the poo ran out faster when my mouth was open than when it was closed. So i opened my mouth althrough, not minding that flies could perch inside.

Suddenly, i felt something cold came in contact with my neck.

The next thing i heard was, “if you move, ur head don go”.

As I turned, i saw a chubby guy on black singlet with a machete to my neck, it frightened me so much that, “gbaaaaadaaam!!” I sat on my poo.

Instead of me to plead with the guy, I angrily said, “see as you don make me sidon for my s’hit”. “you never start sef, you go soon chop your s’hit” The guy threatened.

From the corner of my eyes, i saw Man ran for his dear life, but when i saw three broad chested guys chased him, it instantly dawned on me that we were in for it.

Brainbox also tried running but was held firmly by one of the guys.

That was the beginning of our sorrows. I and Brainbox.

“you see this ur s’hit? U go chop am” The guy on black singlet threatened. “bros, e better make you cut my head with this cutlass oh, i no go chop my s’hit, God forbid!!” I sounded stubborn.

“oya lie down for this ur s’hit” the guy that held Brainbox commanded him.

Since i was already seating on my poo, there was no need for me to seat or lie on my poo.

“I say begin chop ur s’hit” The guy on black singlet ordered for the umpteenth time. “bros, e better make i die than for me to chop my s’hit” I boldly spoke.

“u wan die abi? Okay choose one; you go chop ur s’hit or you go pay 2000naira fine, or as you wan die, i go cut ur head” He gave me three options. “bros, 2000naira too much na, when una catch Bigie na 1000naira him say him pay” I almost said.

“i say choose one!” He yelled. “bros, i no go fit chop my s’hit and i no go fit pay 2k” I stated.

“okay choose the place for ur neck wey i go cut?” He said bringing the machete to touch my neck. The coldness of the machete on my neck sent cold shivers down my spine.

For a while, i forgot i wasn’t caught alone, but with my friend Brainbox.

“Agwo dem this boys no get money oh, make we arrange their Eshi for our Chairman” One of the guys that held Brainbox said dragging Brainbox to where i sat. “na wetin we go do be that na” The guy called Agwo replied.

If you are Ibo, you would agree with me that Agwo is a dangerous name. Dangerous because it means Snake. The guy called Agwo was really as merciless as a Snake. He was the same guy that wanted me to eat my poo.

“Agwo them this boys no get money oh, make we arrange their Eshi for our Chairman” I recalled what one of the guys said earlier.

If Eshi in Ibo means Head, then i would leave you to say the kind of Soup we were in; Okro, Egusi, or better still Ogbono soup.

It instantly dawned on me that these guys wanted to give our heads to their “Chairman” who would use it for Money rituals.

There had been incessant reports of missing persons lately, the bodies of these missing persons were after some days found floating in Otammiri river.

I turned to see that Brainbox had been baptized with his own poo. Poo was painted all over his shirt. And he sat very close to me, “guy no rub s’hit for my body oh” I warned.

“Enyi, make una carry them make we go arrange their head” Agwo commanded.

Enyi means Elephant. A perfect name for someone fatter than Bigie.

The “Elephant size” guy called Enyi dragged me up and said, “na today una go die, una go go do apprentice for devil for hell fire”.

“Flow anaa!!” I cried on a low voice.

“Floo anaa” means “this is the exit of Flow”. That was what i said because i had concluded we would die.

Enyi grabbed me by my hands with so much strength that he almost amputated me.

“Agwo biko nunu!!” Brainbox was pleading with Agwo while i put my Brain to work.

To Be Continued…

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