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-Man Wey Dey Reason

Must Read: Man Wey Dey Reason… Part 53

A story written by Flow1759… If you missed part Fifty Two, read it HERE!!!

The next day was Saturday. The Saturday I and Snoop was to go train in his Dojang.

With our Dobok in our bag, we were off to Old stadium Owerri.

People jogging around added a little beautiful to the old unkept stadium. By the left was a gym, a ghetto gym.

We got to the Dojang to meet about 20students and two Sabum Nim. We Kyong ye to the two Sabum Nim and we joined the class. That was after Snoop had introduced me as his friend.

Sabum Nim is a Taekwondo Terminology that is said to reffer to the Teacher or instructor. Kyong ye means to bow. Do Bok means training uniform. Dojang means training hall.

In Taekwondo, there is no s*x discrimination. Male and Female train together. But just that little children train separately.

Two heavily a”ssed Black belter ladies were training in front of me. I concentrated more on their well carved pathing frames than on the exercise i was practising.

I took a glimpse at Snoop, he looked more handsome on Do Bok. His plaited hair reminded me of his role model Snoop Dogg.

After 2hours of stretching, jogging, kicking pads, punching bags and self defence training, it was time for sparring.

For 30minutes, i sat down to watch the children spar. The children were excellent, albeit some of them gave funny kicks. I learnt alot from their mistakes nevertheless.

The adult sparring started with Snoop fighting with a Red belter. Snoop was beaten black and blue by the Red belter. There was an Axe kick the Red belter gave Snoop on the head, had it not being for the headguard he wore, the kick would surely tore Snoop’s head to pieces.

I watched so many other funny fight that really entertained me. Like when one Female Blue Belter mistakenly fell on the head of a Male Yellow Belter that was about surrendering.

Soon it was my time to spar. And my opponent was one of the a”sses or rather ladies i was staring at. I stared at her tiny b”reast as she put on the b”reastplate made of foam. “i go beat this one na” I said to myself as i wore my protective fighting armour.

Even though she was a Black belter and i was a Red belter, i was sure i would still win the fight, if not for anything, just for the fact that she was Female. Or so i tot.

“Charyot!!” the instructor yelled, “kyong ye!” he said and we bowed. “Si Jak” he yelled, and fight began.

Charyot is a call to Attention. Saying “Si Jak” is like saying “Action” when shooting a Movie.

So fight began.

She gave a first attack of a round house kick to my stomach. Since the kick was hard, two points was awarded to her. I sent a punch to her chest in return. If not for the protective b”reastplate she wore, such a punch could fall off her b”reast. A point was awarded to me.

I swayed to different directions, saying in my mind, “how woman go win me?”. Forgetting the saying: “what a Man can do, a woman can do better”.

Suddenly, a 360degree kick came to my face, giving her three points. She sent another 360degree kick, this time i was fast enough to block with an Ulgool mahki.

Ulgool Mahki means face block.

Within a twinkle of an eye, she sent two Balumba Dohlio chagi with so much speed, one of the kicks got me at my lower abdomen, giving her two points.

Balumba Dohlia chagi means kicking a round house kick with the leg in front turning clockwise or anticlockwise.

I sent a knife kick to her throat, giving me two points.

It seemed the knife kick i sent to her throat brought out the Lioness in her as she sent several kicks that almost got me.

All of a sudden, sweat from my forehead dripped into my eyes making me go blind.

The next thing i heard was, “gbuuuuuuup!!” “gbuuuuuuuup!!” two heavy Axe kicks landed on my head making me seat down compulsorily.

She sent just two kicks to my head, but i saw an imaginary third kick to my face that sent me straight the ground.

I saw so many Stars around my head. I saw the Moon also.

In my head, a music was playing. A rap music maybe.

I surrendered.

“madam Ifeoma say after we work today finish, we go wait until when her pekin wey dey abroad send money before we go continue the work” Man said on our way to work the next working day.

The response i recieved for greeting Madam Ifeoma “Good Morning” was a signal indicating she wanted to see me at the usual place.

I really needed what she wanted because its been long i did it last.

As i walked towards Old Solja’s room, i was wondering why she wanted s’ex that early. Well, like they say; “the early bird gets the morning warmth”

I got to the room, and what my eyes saw was too heavy to be said by my mouth.

Madam Ifeoma was using a V”ibrator on herself. That was my first time of seeing such physically. With my mouth ajar, i walked closer to see that she was really enjoying the sweet sensation the V”ibrator sent to her Medulla Oblongata.

I stood there for about 10minutes, of which it seemed she hardly noticed my presence.

As i continued staring at her, my dickson stood saying; “hello!! Can you give me some work to do here!! Can i join the action?”. “shut up!! Can’t you see that Oga kpatakpata is busy with Madam?” I said to my dickson and it reduced a bit in length.

Since it was my first time of seeing a Woman using a V”ibrator, i wanted to feed my eyes to the fullest.

She turned, and saw me, then she said, “come i join us”. “join wetin? my p’rick no big reach that Oga wey dey there oh” I almost said.

I came to join her or rather them after i had undressed. It was really obvious that my dickson couldn’t match up the huge V”ibrator she was using. It looked more like the d’ick of a horse while mine looked more like a d’ick that had caught cold.

I opened her bag to find c’ondoms, i wore one and headed straight to resume duty.

As i inserted my dickson into her swimming pool, it seemed my dickson stepped on a quicksand and was sinking. Her formerly normal size swimming pool had turned to an Olympic size swimming pool.

She wasn’t enjoying it, likewise me. I couldn’t give it to her how she wanted. The Ike Nwoke style.

As i finished making a f’ool of myself, i wore my clothes. To my surprise, as i was about leaving, she handed over some money to me. I initially refused accepting, not until she threatened, “you must take it oh, except you want my trouble”. Troubles were what i had gotten a handful of lately, and i needed no more of it. So i collected the money i assumed to be not less than 8k. My four days kponkpon pay.

As i left Old solja’s room, all i was pondering was; why she gave me the money? Had i been substituted? Was she paying me off for a job not well done? Who could my substitute be? A Striker or a Defender? because a striker that could score goals like Drogba was who she needed. Well, even though i wasn’t the highest goal scorer, atleast i sustained no injury, just that she gave me Red card.

I saw Man as a potential substitute, so i was staring at him as we continued working, “Flow why you dey look me like this na?” Man asked, “I just dey look you say i go like buy beer for you after work” I said with a smile.

“Mr Flow!! Mr Flow!! U be correct man” Man and Brainbox cheered. “shebi u dey wayah Madam Ifeoma abi?” Brainbox said suddenly, “everytime wey she call you go Old solja room, na to wayah abi?” Man added. “sssssshh! Make una no shout so Ochagbuorie and Igbakwambo no go hear” I whispered to them. “them know na, u think say dem no know?” Brainbox said.

“But make i tell una true oh, she no dey give me money oh, i dey wayah her free of charge, i just wan buy una beer with my kponkpon money wey i go get today” I stated.

I wondered how they were all aware of my f’lings with Madam Ifeoma.

Well, like an adage in pidgin English goes; “leg wey dey waka Pian Pian, eye wey dey see Pian Pian dey see am”

Next day.

“guys, na dem the necklace be this, i don divide am into three, na the same amount of necklace dey for the three of them, i count them, so i know the amount wey all of una carry” Tupac was showing us the assorted Jewelleries he wanted us to market.

“make i tell una the price wey i buy am, one GL necklace na 500naira, one CC necklace na 300naira, one bangle na 200naira, and one earring na 100naira, but una fit sell them any amount wey una like, even if una like una fit sell GL wey i buy 500naira for 1million naira, that na una toror” Tupac narrated.

Toror is a Pidgin English slang meaning Concern.

“dis business go make sense pass Kponkpon oh” said Brainbox.

“yes na, but na if you get the mouth to market well oh” Tupac said, “i get the mouth na, na me be Flow, my mouth dey flow like Ogbono soup” I teased and they all laughed.

Jokes apart, i had a sugar coated mouth. Infact, i could even sell Snow to an Eskimo.

I arranged my wares in my bag, so did my friends, and we hit the street. “Man, where we go sell this necklace sef?” I asked Man, “when we reach there you go know” He answered and Brainbox laughed.

The first place we entered was a provision store. “yes! Can i help you?” An Anya 4:30 lady said.

Anya 4:30 is an Ibo slang said to reffer to people with impaired vision. The kind of Albino vision. The kind of vision whereby you would be looking at Mr A but talking to Mr B.

“i said can i help you?” She repeated. I thought she was talking to the standing fan, as she actually focused her eyes on the standing fan. Since it was just us that stood in front of her and it wasn’t possible she was talking to the standing fan, except she was mad, i concluded she was talking to us, so i answered, “we are from a Jewellery marketing company, we are here to market some of our products to you”.

I would have replaced “we” with “I”, because i turned to see that Man and Brainbox were separately cajoling two customers that came to buy something at the provision store. They left me alone with love from OYO.

Why wouldn’t they leave me to fend for myself? Afterall, we live in an OYO world.

OYO– On Your Own.

All Man For Himself.

I handed over some of the Jewelleries to the Lady, she admired them for a while, and asked, “what is the name of your company?”.

“Company” sounded like “Commander” to me. “which one be commander again, na Tupac nahim be our commander na” I said within.

“ehnn! Tupac” I said.

“so the name of ur company is Tupac?” She inquired, “sorry, i mean, Tupaco, Tupaco is the name of my company” I stammered.

“so where is this Tupaco company located?”. That question came too fast that the only place in Nigeria that came to my mind was Ondo.

“Ondo!” I answered.

“so you are saying all these Jewelleries are from Ondo state?” She was beginning to ask too many questions. At that moment, i quickly recall that Tupac had previously told us that he bought the Jewelleries from Onitsha, so i said, “no, they are actually from Onitsha, we have a branch in Onitsha”.

For 10minutes, she admired my beautiful Jewelleries and said, “i like them all, but just that i don’t have money to buy any of them”. “you dey mad, after u don look-look am finish, u com dey tell me say u no get money to buy am” I cursed within.

After 2hours of walking in the scorching sun, we made no sale, save just one Bangle Brainbox sold at the rate of 400naira.

We decided it was time to go home.

“guy Kponkpon business better pass this business oh” Brainbox confessed, as we walked home. “if no be say Madam Ifeoma say na till next month we go continue work for site, i for no do this r’ubbish business wey Tupac introduce us to” said Man.

“make una forget that thing abeg, today na our first day, naso first day dey be, tomorrow e go better” I asssured.

“una don forget say dem no dey use rush-rush chop Okro soup wey hot?” I said.

I was sure this “Okro soup” needed nothing but Patience. And i would sure wait until the hotness of the Okro soup reduces, before eating. Or so i tot.

To Be Continued…

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