-Man Wey Dey Reason

Must Read: Man Wey Dey Reason… Part 52

A story written by Flow1759… If you missed part Fifty One, read it HERE!!!

Next day at work.

“make sure you mix the cement properly, the sun is too much, lemme go and rest” said Madam Ifeoma to Ochagbuorie. And she walked towards Old solja’s room.

We had gone far in the casting of the outside concrete. Some fell ill and recovered, others were to still fall ill.

“guy, if we finish work early today i go enter bank, i wan go put some of the money wey i don get from dis kponkpon work for my account” Brainbox informed. “we go go together, which bank you dey use?” I inquired, “na GTB” Brainbox replied. “i get account for GTB, we go go together after work” I said.

We worked for another 30minute, then nature called, and i had no choice but to answer, “Man which side you dey s’hit for bush sef? S’hit dey catch me” I said, “na for that place we dey near Old Solja backyard” Man replied, “hope say s’hit no plenty for ground for there oh?” I asked, “when you reach there you go know” Man responded.

Why i asked that question was because Man always went there to poo on daily basis, oweing to the fact that that was the only hidden part of the bushes around us. Sometimes Brainbox also went there to poo, Igbakwambo and Ochagbuorie also. I wondered why they loved to do a poo before the start of work, or was that their goodluck charm?

As for me, that day was my first day to make use of their “Water closet”. And i came to the conclusion that i would meet poo scattered everywhere. I made a decision in my mind that if i meet poo scattered everywhere, i would practise “s’hit on top s’hit” Theory.

When we were much younger in the barracks, “s’hit on top s’hit” was what we said to reffer to when one goes to the “Bolla”, and found no free space to poo on, the person would simply poo on another person’s dried poo.

Bolla was the name we called where refuse was dumped, and also the home of poo for the little children. Not that we had no toilet, but just that we the little children then preffered to make use of Bolla than Toilet, because Bolla was not only a place to poo but also a place to discuss. To discuss only God knows what.

S’hit on top s’hit was it because i found no free space, except i wanted passers by to view my ripe a”ss.

I tried to pretend i wasn’t percieving the stench the poo around me brought, because i knew i would leave there in a matter of minutes.

Suddenly i heard, “aaaah!! uuuuuuh!! Yes!! Yes!! uuuuuuuh!!” someone was moaning. The sound came from Old solja’s room. I needed nobody to tell me that Madam Ifeoma was having s’ex with Old solja.

I tiptoed towards the open window without borthering to cover my n”akedness. Infact from my waist downwards was stark n”aked.

What i saw surprised me not. Madam Ifeoma was ridding on Old Solja like a bike, making an earthquaking noise. I felt as if i was the one she was ridding on as my dickson was practically piercing through the wall i stood close to.

After about 30minutes of watching the Movie, i left.

I promised myself i wouldn’t mention a word of what i saw to my friends. Only time would tell if i would keep to my promise.

Work closed early that day because Madam Ifeoma was in a hurry to go home. Maybe she needed to go home, relax and w”ank over the sweet s’ex she had with Old solja, or so i tot.

When we got home, we quickly took our bath, then I and Brainbox were off to Guarantee Trust Bank to deposit our little Kponkpon savings.

What we never knew was that Guarantee Trust Bank would guarantee that one of us would deny the other.

Just as Peter denied Jesus Christ three times before the C’ock crowed, so did Flow deny Brainbox three times before the bank closed.

“guy i no well oh, my eye dey turn me, e be like say na Malaria oh” Brainbox said as we approached the bank. “but u don take drugs?” I asked, “yes na, i don take Malaria drugs, but e be like say the thing no work” said Brainbox. “e go work, no worry” I assured.

The air conditioner in the banking hall gave my skin a cool feeling, i felt like making the bank my home. A bank was sure the best place in the world to be made home, as one would sleep on money, eat money and breathe money.

We collected deposit slip to fill. And i saw from the corner of my eyes that Brainbox filled in 12,000naira as the amount he was to deposit. “dis boy get money oh, see as him wan put 12k, wen na only 7k me i wan put” I tot.

Soon we joined the long queue. Brainbox was in front of me while over 10 persons were in front of him.

40minutes later, the number of persons in front of Brainbox had reduced to Four.

“guy my body dey shake i no fit stand well” Brainbox complained. “no worry our turn go soon reach, we go dey go house” I said.

All of a sudden, the Brainbox i knew had changed, he was sweating and shaking like a jelly fish.

He was really ill, i could tell.

The next thing i heard was, “gboor ghoor gbooooor!!”. Brainbox threw up.

He threw up and baptized the Lady in front of him with Okro soup.

If that was all, it wouldn’t had been that bad, what came out from his mouth was an eyesore.

Eba and Okro soup. The Eba and Okro soup we ate at Soroagwa canteen earlier.

Balls of Eba and Okro soup flew to different corners of the bank. North, South, East and West.

I took gradual steps backwards going far from the u’gly scene.

Brainbox continued throwing up wanting to flood the bank with the irritating balls of Eba and Okro soup that was coming out of his system. All eyes were on him.

As I took more steps getting close to the door, someone suddenly said, “i thought he is your friend, i thought u came together, where are you going to?” It was the beautiful girl i was admiring that stood behind me in the queue, “he is not my friend oh, i just met him here in the bank” Denial Number 1.

I was sweating profusely even in a fully Air conditioned bank, “omoh! See as Brainbox go vomit Eba and Okro soup for bank oh, him don fall hand oh, if i gree say na my friend him be, people go say make i come pack the vomit” I tot.

Just when i was regretting why i denied Brainbox, someone said, “that boy is his friend, let him come and help him” it was a chubby man pointing towards me. I initially tot he was reffering to the fair guy that stood beside me, “he is talking to you, he said you are that boy’s friend, that you should go and help him” I whispered to the fair guy who ignored me. “i mean you on Blue, i saw you discussing with him” the chubby man stated. This time my brain figured he was reffering to me because i wore blue, so i said, “he is not my friend oh, i just met him in the bank” Denial Number 2.

As the bank cleaners came to clean up the mess, i stared to see that Brainbox was staring at the floor. Maybe he was ashamed, or maybe not.

As the Lady Brainbox threw up on walked towards the toilet to clean herself up, she stared at me for a while, and she said, “won’t you go and help your friend?”. “he is not my friend, i don’t even know him from Adam” Denial Number 3.

At that moment, Brainbox that was initially staring at the floor instantly looked up to me and shook his head.

That was when it dawned on me that i had denied my friend three times. Three good times!!

As the cleaners took Brainbox upstairs to clean him up or maybe bath him, i felt ashamed of myself.

I had denied a friend. But if he were to be in my sheos, he would do worse, he would even run out of the bank, i was sure of that.

30minutes later, i had paid in my money and i went outside the banking hall to wait for my beloved friend Brainbox. Atleast if i couldn’t stand for him in the crowd, i could take care of him on our way home and at home, so i tot.

30minutes later, i saw him coming out of the bank putting on a different shirt, holding his soiled shirt on his right hand. He was putting on a GTB t-shirt that was crested in front “the bank that loves you”.

I guessed they had shown him love, while i displayed the opposite.

I guessed they were his friend indeed, and i was a fake friend. because like they say; “A friend in need is a friend indeed”.

To Be Continued…

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