-Man Wey Dey Reason

Must Read: Man Wey Dey Reason… Part 44

A story written by Flow1759… If you missed part Forty Three, read it HERE!!!

I know by now you would be asking what was the fate of the Snake.

Well, Albeit the Snake was tamed, Man finally killed it. He killed the poor snake, and his reason was that the meat would be used to prepare Snake pepper soup. He said he loved snake pepper soup alot. I promised myself i wouldn’t eat of it, or so i tot.

We left Soroagwa canteen with two things in mind. One was for Man to perform the Magic of chewing the blade and broken bottle, another was for us to get home and prepare the Snake pepper soup for our munching pleasure. The later was what i wouldn’t pertake of, even if i was under duress to do so, or so i tot.

I had eaten Snake meat before but not a tamed Snake. Not a Snake that was tamed to death. I believed there was something fetish about it.

“Flow hold dis nylon make i go buy razor blade wey we go use do that thing” Man said offering me the bag containing the dead Snake.

“hold that thing jor, i no fit hold that r’ubbish” I cursed.

He held it to Nkiru’s shop.

Shortly, he came back with two brand new razor blades and an empty Coca Cola bottle.

We met Snoop alone at home. I explained to Snoop the drama that was about unfolding, and he kept his fingers crossed.

We all watched keenly as Man struck the Coca Cola bottle on the floor. Pieces of broken bottle scattered everywhere and Man gathered them together.

He resumed his “famous” incantation, this time it sounded like Efik.

He widely opened his eyes, with his eyeball bulging. He looked more like Awó. Awó in Ibo means Ópòló in Yoruba, which means Frog in English(i no know wetin e mean for Hausa oh).

He also opened his mouth like a Frog. Suddenly he inserted the pieces of broken bottle into his mouth. And he started chewing. I waited to see blood gushing, i waited in vain.

I caught cold instantly on hearing the sound his chewing made. I had seen such magic only on Tv. I was seeing it live and direct.

He unwraped the two razor blade and resumed another round of incantation. This time it sounded like Chinese. It seemed to every task there was a particular incantation for it.

Suddenly, he garnished the broken bottle he was chewing with the two razor blades and continued chewing.

I almost peed on my p’ant. “this boy na original babalawo oh, shey him go swallow am?” I asked myself.

“i don swallow am” He answered my question.

“where my money? Flow give me my money?” Man suddenly said.

I was with the bet, and since the did had been done, i gave him his 4000naira. He was worth it, even more.

Brainbox’s mouth was ajar, he was surprised at how Man munched and swollowed the bottle and blade, and he was also surprised at how he had lost 2000naira, little or nothing was left of his pay for that day.

Was what just happened a talent or was it fetish? was what i asked myself.

What would happen to Man’s digestive system? was what i also asked myself.

“Man wey dey reason!!” Snoop suddenly cheered. “Man wey dey reason! Man wey dey reason!!” we gave a roof raising cheer and a standing ovation to Man wey dey chop bottle.

Legend has it that the bone of a Snake is poisonous and deadly.

Yet the meat was very delicious.

Legend also has it that Snake skin when dried and grinded would add a superb highness to Igboh. The mixture was an excellent elixir. An elixir i had tasted just once. And i promised not to taste again.

“Flow come follow me arrange the Snake na” Man yelled from the kitchen. “i no well” I replied.

Truely, i wasn’t feeling fine, i had caught Parkinson’s disease, not only because i withnessed a magic, but also because the fellow that performed the magic was my bosom friend. A friend that slept on the same bed with me, ate from the same plate with me, and even worked as a kponkponist with me.

It was Man’s turn to cook that day, so after he prepared the Snake pepper soup, he informed us he had seperated part of the meat he would add to the food he would cook later.

It was time to eat the Snake pepper soup.

I promised myself i wouldn’t eat, but the Aroma made me thought twice.

“The thing sweet oh, Flow come taste am na” Snoop said to me. I went to the Kitchen, took a spoon and joined them.

It was indeed delicious. As i gulped the soup, i heard the worms in my stomach singing songs of praise. I was really famished. “Man wetin we go chop dis night?” I asked. “na Egusi soup oh” Man responded.

Power was restored. Since our sound system was faulty, and our Dvd also was faulty, we had no choice but to watch NTA 9pm news on Tv, although the reception wasn’t clear enough, we continued watching as the patriotic Nigerians we were.

As we were watching a news report on the men in the “red chambers” Snoop said, “guy, dem dis senators, dem be thief oh”. “na today you know? U no know say the money wey dem dey pay only one senator for Nigeria pass the money wey dem dey pay American president” I informed. “ehenn? If na like that, watch out for me for the next election, Brainbox for senate house, Mbaise for senate house” Brainbox teased. “na your type?” Snoop said to him.

We were still discussing politics when Baba jay walked in. Baba jay the “dandiest”. He had a very poor dress sense, i must say. Infact if there was Mr shabby pageant, Baba jay would sure emerge the winner.

“where u dey come from na?” Snoop asked Baba jay. “i dey come from church, weekly service” Baba jay replied. “u dey come from church, nahim ur cloth be like the cloth wey i dey use do kponkpon work, shey dog no bark for u for road?” I dared not say that, unless i wanted the Opopo incident to repeat itself.

“wetin una dey cook?” Baba jay asked. “na Egusi soup, Egusi soup and chicken” I told a lie.

Chicken indeed, Snake chicken.

“una be correct guys” Baba jay said.

25minutes later, Man dished out the food and we ate.

My prayer was that none of us would manifest as a Snake that Night.

To Be Continued…

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