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-Man Wey Dey Reason

Must Read: Man Wey Dey Reason… Part 35

A story written by Flow1759… If you missed part Thirty Four, read it HERE!!!

It was an upstairs kponkpon, we would have to go upstairs to pour the rice and beans.

Very risky kponkpon, as someone might mistakenly fall off. Or so i tot.

Bcos of how risky it was to climb upstairs to pour the rice and beans, the money was 700naira per bag instead of the normal 600naira per bag.

War started.

It was indeed war bcos we were like 15guys. A look at the wierd and rough looking guys, i was sure about half of them were Masters holders in kponkponity, while the rest were Phd holders in kponkponical Engineering.

I and Brainbox were just WASSC holders tutored by our master Man who was just a Bsc holder.

Funny enough, Baba jay couldn’t be regarded as a FSLC holder but a Nursery school certificate holder, that is if there was any certificate like that.

Work started.

Mehn!! it wasn’t as easy as i tot. Some guys were even taking dry gin to serve as an Energy boaster.

I took a sip of the dry gin, so did Baba jay.

It didn’t only boast my strength, it made me developed wings. I was flying.

As for Baba jay, it made him changed his walking step to that of a Robot.

Before i knew it, i was on my fifth bag.

Baba jay was really a fast learner, he was catching up with the kponkpon tutorial he was learning from some of the Phd holders in the game.

I could finish only six bags before work closed. Lazy me!! When there was a guy that did 15bags, even Man did 9bags.

As we walked home, i was happy for Baba jay that atleast his first day to work in the “Ministry of Kponkpon” wasn’t a tragedy like mine.

I never knew Tragedy would soon come for him.

Hereditary “wahala” awaited him.

Something i never knew Baba jay had.

Something i only saw on Tv. I saw it in reality for the first time.

We boarded the same canoe we boarded while going. Just that we were the only passengers this time around.

“guy una dey make money well well for this una canoe business oh” Man said to the canoe attendant. “naso oh, na God dey do am oh” the Canoe attendant replied. “e be like say i go come follow una dey do the business oh” Man teased. “u never do kponkpon business finish, u wan enter canoe business” i said.

We had barely crossed to the other side of the River when Baba jay brought out the money he had made and said, “omoh mehn! Money dey for dis kpokpon business oh, see as i make 2100naira today. “shebi when i tell u make u follow me go do kpokpon, u tell me say u be old man” Man said.

I had never seen Baba jay that happy since i met him. “mehn see money oh!!” Baba jay said showing us his money.

He still held the money in his hands when a drama started unfolding.

Baba jay started shaking like Banana leaf.

And he graduated to shaking like a Jelly fish.

“which kin play be dis one? u dey f”uck up oh” I said thinking he was trying to f’ool us.

It was no joke. It was real.

Baba jay was experiencing Epilepsy attack.

I could see from the corner of my eyes that Brainbox was dead scared, he almost jumped out of the canoe.

As Baba jay continued shaking like someone that had been electrocuted, he let go of the money he was holding. And sea wind blew the Money from his hands. Not all the money, but some.

It was raining of money, as wind blew the Money to unreachable height, but not beyond the reach of Brainbox.

I saw the rest of the money the wind didn’t blow close to my feet, so i picked it. Not for keeps, but i pleged i would hand them over to Baba jay once he becomes well.

I saw Brainbox jumped to catch two 500naira notes that was flying with the wind. I was tempted to try my luck to see how much i could catch, “but why Baba jay go get shaky shaky disease i go com dey jump catch him money?” i asked myself.

“wetin dey do am!! E don dey die oh!! Pour am water na” The canoe attendant shouted. “e no go died, Flow bring water make we pour am” Man said.

“where water na? Water no dey here? Na when we reach house we go see water” I said in a limbo. “u be mumu, we dey on top water and you dey ask me where water dey?” Man replied.

Baba jay continued shaking like a patient of Parkinson’s disease for a while. Maybe it was Parkinson’s disease, or maybe it was its elder brother named Epilepsy, so i tot.

Then he stopped shaking.

I tot he was dead. Bcos he didn’t move his body for about 10minutes.

I hurriedly poured plenty of water on his face.

The water did the magic.

Baba jay coughed back to reality.

He was healed. Healed by Otammiri water.

A song came to my mind at that moment. Fela’s song, “water!! e no get enemy!!”

We walked home after the near death of Baba jay.

Baba jay was struggling to walk. He looked as “handsome” as a bird that fell into a bucket of water.

“na your money wey remain be dis” i offered Baba jay the 600naira left of his kponkpon money. “where the rest na?” Baba jay asked. “omoh, some of ur money don swim go oh, maybe dem the fish wey dey the river go use the money buy something wey dem go chop dis night” I replied.

Brainbox winked at me and i winked back. My winking meant i would later ask him for my share of the money he caught.

As we got to our compound’s gate, we met Tega discussing with Tupac.

“guy, i don go beg Haruna oh, but him no wan hear me. Him say na untill all of us come beg am together nahim him go forgive us” Tega said.

“I no dey go anywhere, that Aboki no fit do anything abeg” Brainbox said.

What Brainbox said provoked anger in me, and i said, “if u talk that thing again i go blow ur mouth, you dey mad? We dey talk how we go beg person wey we chop him fowl, u dey talk r”ubbish”.

“u dey mad, na ur Papa dey talk r”ubbish” Brainbox insulted.

I was raging with anger. Water was boiling in my chest.

“Na my Papa u dey curse? Na my Papa u dey curse?” I let out a hot blow to Brainbox’s jaw.

“na me u blow?” He held his jaw.

He suddenly dashed towards me to attack me, but he was held by Man and Tega.

“Flow you blow me bcos i say i no go follow una go Haruna place? Flow u go see wetin i go do u? Make una come carry me go beg na?” Brainbox said and walked out.

I knew even if Man and Tega hadn’t held Brainbox, he wouldn’t still be able to fight me. Bcos the Brainy Brainbox wasn’t Brainy when it comes to fighting. But Flow was.

“Flow na me u blow abi? I go show you” Brainbox threatened from a distance.
“wetin u fit do me? U no fit do anything abeg” I replied.

“him fit do u so many things oh” my mind told me.

True talk! There were a hundred and one dangerous things Brainbox could do to me.

Things like adding excess salt to my food. Like adding sugar to my beans. Like pouring Kerosene into my bath water at night. He had done all these evil act to me when we were at Umunkoto. Even more.

Taking trouble to Brainbox was like taking Coal to Newscastle. He had trouble as his concubine, and he gives it to whoever wanted it just for the asking.

At that moment, a song came to my mind. The song of the late Fela, “when cat sleep, rat dey go bite him tail, wetin him dey find?…………. WAHALA e dey find, WAHALA e go get oooh”. I was sure i would get Wahala from Brainbox, what i prayed for was a mild Wahala.

“make una go beg Brainbox oh, Haruna say na all of us wey thief him Fowl nahim go beg am oh. Him say if one person no come, all of us go run mad by tomorrow morning” Tega said. “no worry make i go beg am, him go follow us, no worry” Man said and walked out.

“what of Bigie na?” Baba jay asked. “na since morning wey Police come ask us some question, na since after then i no see am till now” Tega said. “him go Ilya du Neked wire joint go drink pammy, him go soon come” Tupac assured.

“ehen Police wey come today say make everybody wey dey dis compound no comot for the compound tomorrow, say dem dey come ask us some questions” Tega informed.

“we don enter Police case oh” I tot.

Wel, like the slogan goes: “Police is your friend”.

What i never knew was that a wierd friendship would soon spark up between one of us and one of the Police Officers.

To Be Continued….

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