Categories
-Man Wey Dey Reason

Must Read: Man Wey Dey Reason… Part 23

A story written by Flow1759… If you missed part Twenty Two, read it HERE!!!

Full time scores: Man u 2 – Fulham 1.

“ehen make we enter Riverside na” Brainbox said as we walked home after the match. “no wahala, na there we dey go now” Man said.

As we walked, we were munching groundnut with large chunks of bread. It was as if the bread and groundnut were multiplying as we ate.

In Ibo Language, Ozommiri means Riverside. So Riveside hotel was coined out from Ozommiri River that was behind our house.

The hotel wasn’t that gigantic but it had a gigantic bush bar.

“na the money wey Chief give us be dis, Brainbox count am” i said as i kept the 20k on our drinking table. Brainbox counted it to confirm it was 20k. “dis one na the one wey Haruna give me, Brainbox count am” i said dropping the other money. Brainbox counted and cofirmed it to be 7,855naira.

“Make we use dis Haruna money pay for everything wey we go drink, but the Chief money, we go share am” Snoop suggested. We all aggreed to Snoop’s Suggestion.

Equity was what Snoop’s suggestion was all about, and Equity was what Brainbox kicked against when he suggested i removed 2k from Haruna’s Money. 2k that was beginning to hurt my most precious d’ick.

I drank “only” three bottles of Udeme alongside one plate of Nkwobi. “Make we dey go house na, s’hit dey catch me, e be like say my belle dey turn” Brainbox suddenly said. “how ur belle no go turn, when u chop 2 rounds of concoction soup” i tot.

I was thinking since i only ate 1round of the concoction soup, i was safe from running stomach. Only time would tell.

We were discussing the match as we walked home. As we got close to the place i planted the 10k, i said, “make una wait for me, make i piss”. While others were urinating at the hotel toilet, i held back my urine because i had plans of urinating in my “farm”. The farm i planted not maize seed but “10k seed”. My bladder had held so much urine, it was about exploding.

“Flow do quick oh, s’hit dey worry me oh” i heard Brainbox said. I was still urinating the one bucket full of urine when i heard Bigie said, “Brainbox, enter bush go s’hit na, abi u dey fear the bush?”. As i heard Brainbox coming towards my direction, i quickly tried to dig out my 10k. But i wasn’t fast enough.

“wetin u dey dig for ground?” Brainbox asked. “ehn ehn ehn i wan s’hit inside the hole wey i dey dig” i stammered. Brainbox also dug a hole close to mine, not minding that we would be percieving the “fragnance” of each other’s poo.

We were so close that Brainbox would notice if i removed the 10k from the hole. I could see the 10k, but i dared not take it, because Brainbox’s phone torch light gave our “s’hiting” spot a glow.

“Flow s’hit na, abi s’hit no dey catch you?” Brainbox said, “s’hit dey catch me na, my s’hit dey come small small” i replied. My stomach that was initially not running, instantly begane to run.

“proooa proaaaoh proooo poooroh” i had poo on my 10k. Maybe it was a manure that would make my “10k seed” grow well, just maybe.

After 5minutes of inhaling the “fragnance” of both Brainbox’s poo and my poo, it was time to go. What was on my mind was how i would remove my 10k from the “manure”. “Flow u no go cover ur s’hit? I don dey go oh” Brainbox said walking out of the bush. “i dey come make i cover am” i responded.

I knew it was irritating, but what was i to do? I had no choice (if na u wetin u for do?)

I dipped my hands into the poo, removed my 10k, rubbed the poo off the money with leaves, and placed the money at the left hand side of my boxer’s waist band. And also used leaves to rub off the poo on my hands.

Next day we were off to work.

Before i left for work, Baba jay had told me he would be going to the bank later in the day, so i gave him some money to pay into my bank account. because the fear of the Notorious BIG was the beginning of wisdom. The money comprised of the “s’hit” money and my 4k share of the money Chief gave us.

My bank account that had been pennyless for a while now, could now smile.

“Man, how today work go be na?” i asked as we walked to the site after taking breakfast at Mama Calabar canteen.

“when we reach site, u go know how the work go be” Man answered.

We got to the site and met Madam Ifeoma.

“how are you today?” She said, “good morning ma, we are fine ma” Man and Brainbox replied, but i almost said, “good morning ma, you are fine ma”. because madam Ifeoma was looking so “sweat sixteen”, with her Jeans mini skirt revealing her “yellow” fresh l’aps.

“ehnnn guys the cement left will not be enough for today’s work” Madam Ifeoma informed us, “so what do we do ma?” Man asked. “i will like two of you to come with me to where we will buy more cement, so you will help me load it into the truck, and when the truck brings it here, u will also offload it” She said, “not for free oh, 20naira for loading, 20naira for offloading” She added.

“ehnnn Flow na me and u go go do dis Sugar baby” Man our boss said, and whatever he said was final. Brainbox wasn’t happy at Man’s decision. I could read what he was saying in his mind: “so u like Flow pass me abi?”. He never knew it was better he stayed behind, than coming to have a taste of Sugar baby. The dreaded Sugar baby.

Sugar baby was the code name for loading and offloading cement.

As Madam Ifeoma drove us on her Honda car, i couldn’t take my eyes off her fresh l’aps because i was seating in front. I wondered why Man refused seating it front.

My volcano erupted instantly, forming a mountain that was noticeable.

As she stretched out her right hand to change gear, i tot she was reaching for my d’ick. My erected d’ick sure looked like a car gear lever.

We arrived the cement depot in no time. It was time for the much awaited Sugar baby. I tot as the name “Sugar baby” literally meant sweatness, so would the work be sweat. Yes! It was sweat. Bitterly sweat.

While Madam ifeoma was bargaining the price with the cement sellers, we went to change to our kponkpon attire. Also, we were putting on sunglasses to prevent the cement particles from entering our eyes.

Sugar baby started.

My intention was to carry more Sugar baby than Man wey dey “always” reason. He reasons better when it was time for work. We were to carry 200bags of cement. 20naira to load a bag into the truck, and 20naira to offload a bag at the site. Which is, 40naira for the loading and offloading of each bag of cement.

After One hour of hectic Sugar baby, we finished with the first half scores as: SugarBaby Flow 82bags — SugarBaby Man 118bags.

As we entered the back of the truck and it moved slowly behind Madam Ifeoma’s car, i consoled myself that i still had “second half” to equalize and that i still had reserved strength to offload the cement, i never knew a part of my body would hinder me greatly.

“aaaaaaaaaaaah!!! My neck” i cried out. “wetin do ur neck?” Man queried. “aaaaaaaah my neck don break” i said. “how your neck no go break? U think say Sugar baby easy?” Man said, “Flow, make i ask u oh, when u lick sugar, how e dey taste?” Man asked, “e dey sweat na” i responded with my hand on my neck. “when u lick plenty sugar, wetin go happen to you?” Man asked again, “u go get jedi jedi na” i responded. “ehen na the Jedi jedi u dey get so, na the Jedi jedi of Sugar baby be say person neck go break” Man narrated laughing at me.

I just needed a Divine healing for the neck pain, or rather Jedi jedi. because i needed to offload more bags than Man wey dey reason.

To Be Continued…

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published.