-Man Wey Dey Reason

Must Read: Man Wey Dey Reason… Part 17

A story written by Flow1759… If you missed part Sixteen, read it HERE

“and Peter was Walking on water, when Peter started loosing faith, he started sinking” the preacher was preaching.

It reminded me of the rugged days of my schooling. It reminded me of the Baggar’s Anthem.

Oh sons of Odin!!
Sail on Aro.
Sail on, as Captains of every ship.
Be it river, be it ocean. With your canoe, or with your ship.
If the Water be tempest, Sail on Aro.
If your ship fail to sail, Like Peter, Aro walk on water.
And you will not sink until you get to iceland.
Wosky brothers sail on, no Matter the turbulence,
Sail on Aro.

That was our Anthem. It wasn’t the anthem of Baggars Nationwide, rather it was the anthem of baggars in my sch, composed by a member.

The name of that member was Rugged Aro Flow.

Yes, i composed it, read it out to my fraternal brothers and they loved it, so they accepted for it to be read at gatherings.

“Offering time!!” Pkc said from the pulpit, “Blessing time” the congregation responded. That was Pkc’s department. He was the Pastor in charge of offering collection.

“Flow u get change?” Man whispered to me, “how much change?” i inquired. “na 50naira i get, and u know say na two offering them dey give, i wan change the 50naira so i go give 20naira for the first offering, and 30naira for the second offering” Man informed. “u no dey fear God oh, upon all the things wey God dey do for u, na 20naira u wan take thank am” I said.

“forget that thing, no be wetin person get him go give?” Man said. “God wey provide Kponkpon Job for u, na 20naira u wan give am, no let God vex for u oh” I cautioned.

Our church was the kind of church you would see people giving 1000naira as offering, not even workers, but university students. Not to talk of those that were workers. There was a sunday, i saw a guy seating by my side bringing out 3000naira as offering. 3000naira that could feed me for a week.

As we danced to where the offering basket was, i clinged to my offering with all the muscles in my palm so nobody could see the “handsome” amount i was giving. I couldn’t tell the kind of devil that made me lose grip of my offering when i was about dropping it in the offering basket. Maybe i was carried away by the nice song the choir sang, just Maybe

And the 100naira i held as offering fell to the ground for everyone to see including Gabriella.

“Flow, shey u see any money inside the pocket of that your trouser wey i return?” Bigie asked me as i was seating under the mango tree after returning from church. “i no see money oh” i lied.

It was meal time.
“Flow food don ready oh” Baba jay informed.

The ravenous Baba jay was paired with Snoop. While i paired with another revenous creature, Brainbox.

The food was Ogbono soup and Eba. The “elasticity” of the Ogbono soup was Superb. The taste was amazing.

“guy them no dey rush hot Ogbono soup oh” i cautioned, “e concern you” Brainbox replied.

We were all enjoying the delicious meal until, “pupurupu pupoooo” Baba jay let out a thundering fart.

Tega’s friend Opopo unaware that we had a Guiness book of record holder for best fart said, “that person wey mess no get sense, him no know say we dey eat”. That statement brought out the vampire in Baba jay.

“you dey Mad, na me u dey curse, i go chawus you oh” Baba jay said giving Opopo a hard punch to the chest. First attack!!

Chawus was a Barrack slang or rather a military slang that could be interpreted to mean “serious beating” in English or “chop jollof rice” in Baggar’s slang.

Baba jay was a Barrack boy like me. But the toughness and doggedness of Barrack boys could not be found in him. Maybe northern Barrack boys wasn’t as tough as western Barrack boys, just Maybe.

Opopo replied Baba jay with a “Mohammed Ali” kind of punch to his cheek, causing chaos in the room. “dis guy think say na boxing ring we dey, that kin punch fit kill person oh” i tot. Before Baba jay could recover, Opopo sent another punch to Baba jay’s nose. I saw Blood dripped out of his nose instanta.

“Opopo leave am na!! E don do!! U go kill am oh!!” was the noise clouding the room, that wasn’t only what clouded the room, the “fragnance” of Baba jay’s fart also clouded the room. Man tried to hold Opopo, yet Opopo let out another punch to Baba jay’s bleeding nose. SCORES: 3-1 (full time)

Knock Out!!!

Baba jay fell to the ground. I thought he was dead because he wasn’t moving. There was commotion in the room. Tega’s girlfriend Lydia was already crying as if we were at Baba jay’s funeral.

“give him mouth to mouth resuscitation” Lydia suggested. “make i kiss Baba jay, i dey mad? Baba jay wey no dey brush teeth, e better make i go kiss toilet wey s’hit dey than make i kiss Baba jay” i said. “Flow we no dey play here, Baba Jay go soon die oh, who go put him mouth for Baba jay mouth na” Tega said with an uneven panic. “make una bring water!!” Man ordered.

At that moment, my mind strayed away from the “Baba jay commotion” to the mighty pieces of meat staring at me from the various plates of soup.

Like they say; “like minds, reason alike”. It was as if Brainbox had intention of grabbing some of the pieces of meat.

Brainbox eyeballed me, i eyeballed him back. He eyeballed me, i eyeballed him back.

And all of a sudden we jolted to the plates of soup at the same time, struggling roughly like two Rugby players.

To Be Continued…

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