-Man Wey Dey Reason

Must Read: Man Wey Dey Reason… Part 15

A story written by Flow1759… If you missed part Fourteen, read it HERE

“Nkiru i wan buy 1500 recharge card, MTN” i ordered as we got to Nkiru’s shop. “Oga Haruna, i dey greet oh” I greeted Huruna her husband who was seated in the shop carrying their baby. “oga Haruna i hail oh” Brainbox also greeted.

Brainbox stood at my back staring at the wares on display. Unaware to me that he had already started “writing” L101 “exam” and his next course would be L102.

“oga Haruna, dis una pekin fine oh” i flattered as i carried the little baby from him. I actually said that with heavy irony. “ehen na her mama she resemble na” Haruna said smiling.

My oh my!! The baby was d’amn “beautifully u’gly”, just like her mum. “Like mother, like daughter” goes the popular adage. But my prayer for the baby was that she doesn’t grow up to become u’glier than her mum. If not she would most definately win the “u’gly pageant” as the u’gliest woman in Nigeria.

Brainbox finished writing L101 exam and started writing L102, as i could feel him putting something in my back pocket. I tried to figure out what it could be, then i concluded it to be small size Peak tin milk because it was a bit heavy.

After about 2minutes of carrying the beautifully u’gly baby, i handed her to her Dad, before she would infect me with “u’gly disease” making my unborn child look like her.

Nkiru handed over the 1500 recharge card to me, and i paid.

As i was about turning to leave, i felt another Peak tin milk entered my other back pocket. It seemed Brainbox had not finished writing L102 exam, so i tried to kill time by recharging my phone with the 1500 card. Before i could finish recharging, “pens up!!”, Brainbox signalled the end of L102 exam by pinching me at the back.

As we walked out of the shop, i saw from the corner of my eyes that Haruna was staring at my two bulging back pockets. Or had we gotten carry over in L102?

“abi him don catch us?” i asked myself as i increased my steps.

“wey Baba jay na?” Brainbox asked as we enter the room. “him dey toilet oh, the guy dey vomit for toilet” Man said. “so na dis Saint Remy wey him drink, nahim make am dey vomit, after him go say him be old man” i said.

“wetin una carry for una pocket na?” Man asked. I brought out the content of my back pocket. I was right, it was two tin Peak milk. Brainbox also emptied his pocket, what he brought out surprised me.

Sadines, tin tomatoes, sachet salt, onion balls were what he stole. We had actually gone shopping, shopping without paying.

“dis Brainbox u be original thief oh, see all the things wey u thief, infact na u be the king of looting for dis house oh” i said.

“which kin king of looting him be? For where Baba jay and Man dey? E get one day wey Baba jay go Nkiru place go do L101, so wen him reach there, him com see say na Boxers him wear and Boxers no dey get pocket, naso him com put the tin tomatoe for him mouth oh, as Nkiru com dey talk to Baba jay, Baba Jay no answer her so she no go know say him put tin tomatoe for him mouth, instead Baba jay just dey shake him head” Snoop narrated. “shey Nkiru catch am?” i asked, “for where, dem dey catch breeze?” Tega added. I believed the story, because Baba jay had a mouth that was wide enough to contain even as much as “five” tin tomatoes conveniently. (kids: don’t try this at home).

“u never hear anything sef, what of Man wey wear Cap go do L101, as him reach Nkiru shop naso him thief dried Fish com put am for the Cap, com wear the Cap for him head” Tega narrated. (kids: you can try this at home, but don’t let mummy catch you).

I couldn’t help but laughed at how guys could go the extra length just to get an A in the course L101. In my Mind, i was trying to figure out between Man and Baba jay who could be called “the course rep.” of L101.

“mehn! Boys get skills for Looting oh” Brainbox confessed and we all laughed.

An hour later, it was time to sleep. It was certian that two persons would be sleeping on the floor. The question was who and who would the two persons be?

Man whispered an idea to me,”Man wey dey reason!!” i cheered.

“Tega, show for outside, me and Man wan see u” i told Tega.

Tega joined us outside and Man said, “u know say Pkc no dey, and u know say na two visitors you bring? That one mean say na two people go sleep for ground, and e no go make sense make ur visitors sleep for ground?” Man explained. “yes na” Tega responded. “so me and Man wan tell u say we go sleep for ground, but u go find us small money” I said, “like how much?” Tega inquired, “just give us 1000naira, 500naira for Flow, 500naira for me” Man said.

“ok, make i give una 600naira abeg” Tega pleaded. “no be groundnut we dey sell wey u go dey price am na” Man said. “u be our main man, no wahala bring am we go manage am like that, bring the 600naira” I added.

As Tega was bringing out the money from his wallet, i recalled what MOG told me earlier, his words: “200naira blessing is not the same as 500naira blessing”. I had already recieved doublefold blessing that day.

Sunday came with the thought of church service.

In our bathroom door lies a pin hole. A pinhole that guys used to have a glimpse of the n’aked body of female visitors. The code name of this act was “flatscreen”. because when you peep through the pin hole, u could get a view that was as clear as watching a b’lue f’ilm in a flatscreen Tv.

“why u dey flatscreen my babe, u dey mad?” Tega queried pushing Man very hard. “ehen, u no dey flatscreen another person babe?” Man attacked. They argued in a low vioce for a while. “make una no dey argue, make the babe no hear una from inside oh” i cautioned.

One thing about our house was that we lived in brotherly love. We shared shirts, trousers, even shoes.

Every other person had gone to the bus stop to wait for the bus MOG told us of, except Me and Man. We were the last to visit the bathroom. We were rushing up in other for us to meet up the bus.

“Man, see wahala oh, one person don wear my trouser wey i wash and iron oh” i complained after searching all nooks and crannies for my black trouser. “that mean say u go look for another trouser wey u go do Wet soul na” Man responded.

Wet soul was a code name for pouring water and brushing the dirts off a dirty cloth(trouser or shirt). So immediately you finish doing that, you would wear the cloth no matter how wet it was. Your hope would be that the cloth would be dried by the breeze on your way going out. The name Wet soul was gotten from the name of the American designer shirt “Dirty Soul”. Wet soul was first done by Man on a Dirty soul designer shirt. So that was how the code name was coined out

“me sef oh, dem don wear my shoe oh” Man noticed. “u go wear that Waka about shoe na” i suggested.

Waka about shoe was a shabby looking timberland shoe we had. The shoe was the kind of shoe a dog could bark at when it sees it. Man even told me there was a day he wore the Waka about shoe to do kponkpon work.

So with my Wet soul designers trousers, and Man’s Waka about designers shoe, we walked fast to meet the others at the bus stop.

To Be Continued…

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