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-Man Wey Dey Reason

Must Read: Man Wey Dey Reason… Part 11

A story written by Flow1759… If you missed part Ten, read it HERE

“Man, we no go go mix rice and beans today?” i asked Man the next morning. “today na saturday na, no work on Saturday, Madam Ifeoma say na Saturday she dey wash her children cloth and do other house work, so she say we no go dey come work on saturday” Man explained.

Wash plate: Tega
Fetch water: Flow
Sweep house: Man
Cook: Snoop
and Baba jay is to sleep on the floor tonight, Pkc read out people responsible for the various domestic chores for that day.

As i was in the well fetching water, “good morning” someone said from behind. I turned and saw Kate. “good afternoon, sorry good morning” i responded. I couldn’t concentrate on the water i was fetching, pouring water all over my legs, i was staring at Kate’s fresh laps, she was wearing a bombshot. “so how are u recovering from ur chicken pox?” Kate asked. “fine, am getting better” i responded.

“see that P-square don ripe, make we pluck am na, who go climb?” Man said as we sat under the tree. “i go climb” i volunteered. I climbed the paw paw tree and pluck two ripe paw paw.

“Tin tomatoes and kerosene no dey oh” Snoop said from the kitchen, “Brainbox leave Flow make him dey arrange the paw paw, go buy the kerosene and Tin tomatoes” Baba jay said. “where money na?” Brainbox asked. “take, make sure u bring my change oh” Pkc said offering him 500naira note. I was very sure Brainbox would be involved in L101 for the tin tomatoes, but how he was to do L101 for the Kerosene was what i couldn’t tell. But since his name was Brainbox, i was sure he would definately use his brain.

“guy, i don do one bad thing now now oh” Brainbox said to me as he came to meet me in the well where i was fetching more water. “wetin be d bad thing wey u do?” i inquired. “after i don do L101 for the Tin tomatoes, i wan come buy the kerosene because i no say i no go fit do L101 for the kerosene” Brainbox began.

“ehen, wetin com happen?” i inquired. “naso i com tell Nkiru say i wan buy half bottle of Kerosene oh, se com say funnel wey she go use pour am for my container no dey there, naso she com enter inside house say she wan go bring the funnel oh” Brainbox added. “ehen, continue” i said. “shebi u know say our kerosene container dey black, and person no go know weda something dey inside if person look am?” Brainbox said. “i know na” i responded. “as she go inside go bring the funnel, naso i com quick quick pour one bottle of kerosene inside our container” Brainbox added. “as i see say she go notice say i don thief one bottle of kerosene naso i com burst two pure water com pour am inside that bottle wey i empty” Brainbox explained.

“as she come, she com still sell my half bottle for me, everything com be one and half” Brainbox added. “Brainbox!! U be original thief oh, i pity the person wey go buy that bottle wey u full with water oh” i said. “the person stove go just blow like bomb” Brainbox said and we both laughed loudly.

It was time to eat. Too bad, i was paired with the ravenous Baba jay.

“have u finished preparing the paw paw?” Pkc asked me. “yes, but i want make we eat this rice finish before we go chop the P-square” i responded. “bring it like that, lets eat it together with the rice” Pkc ordered.

Pkc had a bad eating habit. His combination of food was deadly. When we were at Umunkoto, there was a day he came to our house with mangoes and he met us cooking beans. That day we ate the mangoes together with beans. He even bragged about eating Kuli Kuli together with bread. And now rice and paw paw? Oh my world!!

With a slice of Paw paw each in our hands, we ate the “not too delicious” rice Snoop cooked, the Paw paw made it very delicious. Bigie and Tupac came in and joined us.
I was determined to try to meet up with the great speed Baba jay was eating. The ratio was 2:1 spoon, not too bad.

After meal, “Flow make we go Ilya du Neked wire go drink Pammy use wash dis food down na” Brainbox suggested as I, Brainbox, Man, Snoop, Tupac and Bigie sat under the mango tree outside.

Ilya du Neked wire was the joint where kegite members like I and Brainbox met to “vibrate” and drink “Holy water”. Vibrate was a Kegite terminology that meant Converse in English and Yan in pidgin English. Holy water was a kegite terminology that meant Palm wine in English and Pammy in pidgin English. I loved the Kegite club so much, not only because it was a worldwide club, but because they don’t maim fellow human beings like the secret cults and fraternities, that was why i joined the club. Not only that, i joined the club because of the slangs they used in conversing(vibrating). I and Brainbox were regular customers at Ilya du Neked wire joint when we were at Umunkoto. The joint was located close to Poly Nekede.

“Snoop are u a kariabity? Who are wa?” I asked Snoop. “i am that kpokpoti entity that was librated from an animalee to an entity, that day D, time T, entities were made in fulani nassarawaly, when my chiefo of Ilya du Lake Nwebere baptized me and called me AB Snoop” Snoop introduced himself in Kegite slang. “why i no com know u na, i be entity from Ilya du Lake Nwebere sef, abi u no dey come meeting?” i queried. “i no dey too come oh” Snoop confessed. “Ab Snoop, shine me ur golden falangis” I said to Snoop and we shook hands in a Kegite style.

“i no understand this Chinese wey una dey speak here oh” Man complained. “na because u no be Kegite na, ur own department na rice and beans department na” I said.

An hour later, I, Snoop, Brainbox, Tupac and Bigie were off to Ilya du Neked wire “nasarawaly” not knowing the amount of “kariabilities” we would meet there.

To Be Continued…

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