If You Missed The Part 2, Read It Here
Esther was a final year student of Convenant University, studying Business Administration, or so
I heard when I eavesdropped on my uncle. She was tall, fair in complexion, some desirable lips and a madt dimple contrasted with an tooth gap, when she smiles, you will think she is the most caring human on earth.. ( Guys, Don’t be deceived by smiles ohhhh abeg!!!! ). Couldn’t determine the size of her bosoms because she can sabi package, but she had an Bottom I once thought of while self-servicing. Trouble!!!!!!!!!
She comes to lagos straight from school before going to Abuja where their(My Inlaw and her sibblings) parents are based, but this december, she wanted to stay in Lagos for reasons I didn’t care to know because she was just a spoilt brat!.
Sometimes I looked at her and pitied the husband that was gonna marry her. But anyhow, “I must use Asamoah’s style to blackmail this beensh”. That was what I thought in less than 3seconds.
“Danladi what is this?” She asked looking at my Lagbaja, still in its mask with a face like ” ” ..
Damn! That was too direct. I said in my wandering mind, before I could explain myself, she shunned me, smiled and said:
“Where is my breakfast? I need to eat before I take this anti-malaria”..
Like seriously? , Esther smiled at me? Those dimples just went in, giving way for the gap tooth to shine at me? Because of why nah? Why? Malaria? Food? See this liar ohhhh! She nor know say I be walking Lying detecting machine.
All these were on my mind, “I refused to be bribed like this”, I said to myself. So I told her where the food was, still trying to cover my hellrection.
She said “Naurrie Boy”, turned around and left, with another smile!!. Blood Of Goat!!!!!, another smile? I frowned my face like shittt and popped the million dolar question “ESTHER, WHERE IS BROS ABU?” With some balloteli’s 2012Euro Cup Stand..
She paused, puzzled and shocked.. Looked at me with one hell of “WTF” on her face.
At this moment, I was feeling like the Puppet Master (Can’t remember where I knew that f.a.g sha). I had Esther right at my palms, I finally had her like Asamoah had his Dad’s drivers. I was so elated that lagbaja got jealous and deflated like a baloon. (Scientists better look for explanations to there mysteries surrounding the man tools.)
“What kind of a question is that? Which Abu are you talking about? And how dare you call my name in such a tone? Have you gone nuts or you think you are talking to your sister huh?”
These were JAMB questions I got, and to make the matter worst, she asked these questions in a very low tone, thats so not like Esther. So I thought to myself that she didn’t want someone to hear us, definitely making her guilty. So I said “YOU THINK I DIDN’T SEE YOU TWO?”..
This point, she was furious but she didn’t have the energy to slap me as she used to do, so I thought this was all from the bleep she got, she was exhausted. (Yeah! I wrote bleep sha ). But a Jack Sparrow Voice came to me like an angel and said
“Hey silly, she is 22, Abu is 30+ but single, you think you can blackmail her?”..
This was when I realised I have allowed vengeance take over me, so I apologised, told her I was just trying to play with her because she looked weak and sick. This was when a clue entered! She had malaria, she was in her nighties at 2pm, I didn’t see her this morning. But damn, how come her hair was scattered?
“I don’t have your time now, don’t ever pull a psychological joke on me ever in your life, you get it init?”..
YES! MAH!!!!, I exclaimed as I answered her like I was a cadet and she my commandant.
I left the kitchen entrance embarrassed as I went straight up to wear a Kaftan (long sleeved shirt), immediately I wore it, I headed straight to the store room and banged the door oppened..
Ladies and gentlemen, the previous Record of The Shock of the Year was once again broken on the same day.. I had a new Shock of the year!!!!
WATCH OUT FOR PART 4